Quitting the Gym, At Last, the Unemployed Girl Gets Realistic

Today, I'm heading to the gym to end my membership, which is something I have been dreading since unemployment. I think I looked at my gym membership as a sign of some stability in my life, some level of security, some level of accomplishment, combined with a love for elliptical and the unease of losing the corporate rate that somehow never disappeared. Maybe I looked at the gym as an office, some place I could go to every day, a place I belonged? I'm over it now. A sympathetic but practical voice says, "It's okay, it's time, you'll live." On to bigger and better things. I've rekindled old passions that I abandoned when I moved to DC, when I was too overworked and young and exhausted and ambitious to do anything else. Yoga, rock climbing, dance. Okay, so I'm not exactly going to be saving money. But maybe the money alone isn't exactly the point. Maybe what's more important is what it gives back, and though the gym gave me a good dose of dopamine and the promise of a good bod, it didn't give me a life outside of my job/jobless identity. You know how I was saying that people don't have much of an identity in DC other than their work? Yoga may not be the answer to everything either, but I know it's a solid part of who I am, and knowing that, and giving it it's fair share of attention seems worth a shot at bringing me closer to figuring out what I want professionally and who I am as a whole, if that makes sense. This is my once chance to rebalanced my life before I really get into the heat of it, so I'm kind of pissed that it took so long to get here. I also wished I had picked up hobbies that were free. More cutting of the nonessentials, as I get closer to figuring out what the nonessentials are.

11:52 am. Still on the way tot he gym. See how big my bag is? I hope my long rain coat doesn't get caught in the back wheel...

Morning Rituals, Daily Accomplishments

Mornings used to be a real nightmare. The insomnia-induced television marathons until 3 am the first two weeks didn't help, then there's all the crap around the house to keep you busy and in pj's all day long. Add movies or playing with the cat--or the best, seeping until 3pm-- and you'll be destined to fail at joblessness.

A friend on vacation for a week asked, "How do you do anything worthwhile all day when you're at home, where it's so easy to do nothing?"

Well, although my genius is too early to reveal, I'll give you a little something to get you by for now. Here's how I get things done at home, in semi-particular order. See what it can do for you:

1.Get out of the house ASAP. I leave for coffee before I even take a shower to see that life does still exist out there. It's so easy and fun, even if you're half asleep. Do this until necessary.

2.If you've got the stuff, go to the gyms/run/be active in the morning. You can scoff at all the suckers going to work and get a good high first thing in the am for hours of productivity.

3.Have at least one exciting thing to look forward to that wakes you up in the morning. Today, it's the High Heel Drag Race on 17th St, which got me out of bed early so that I could get all my crap done before 6pm to make it to the Fox & Hound for prime seats. Yeah!

4.Have at least one project stress you out so much that it wakes you up in the morning. This is usually an involuntary perk, but it sure as hell works.

5.Calendars and check-lists rule! I have several Google calendars, I use iGoogle ToDo lists and have several widgets stickies on my dashboard. These lists occasionally clear by the end of the day... very satisfying.

6.Pick the most fun and constructive of the list of things you imagined doing even if they may never amount to anything, to keep yourself happy and maybe even support the right path to whatever. Some on my list: Blogging, volunteer in my dream job, painting, more photography, and order the piece missing on my sewing machine. And a few others, big and small. Prioritizing these.

7. Set up meetings. Make them for coffee with a friend in the morning, anything, just commit to being somewhere outside your place at a certain time and keep it. Talk to people, too--don't be a hermit.

8.Nothing improves the spirits like a midday siesta. Nap, walk, eat, (shop) or do a completely selfish and jealousy-generating activity at least once a day. Otherwise, why the hell are you doing this?

Thank God for the Gym

I seriously worry about the day when I can't work out at the gym anymore, foreseeing a possibly dire financial outcome to this fairy tale. The Gym is like my coffee in the morning, like my bath at night. Creativity would seize to exist because when the body is tired, the mind it tired. Although I used to be a hater, wondering how people could exercise in place like a rat on a wheel, I have since shut it. Because here's the thing: Have you ever heard that the best way to get out of a writing block is to write until the hand moves almost involuntarily, to the point where the mechanics of writing give way to free and pure thought? On the elliptical one time, I came up with the most surreal short film idea about a woman running on a tredmill with her eyes closed, and she was able to almost transport herself into all of her fantasies, they felt so real. Oxygen is so devilish.

The best time of day to work out, I've discovered, is 11 am, when the place is nearly deserted and you have the whole locker room to yourself.

Rainy Afternon

Should I go to the gym or not? My bike is soaked, now that it's rained. That also means more damn mosquitoes. God I hate mosquitoes.