Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Between Here and There

An excerpt from my holiday season, at the National Christmas Tree fiasco on the Mall: “Do you see the size of those 'yule logs' burning in the fire pit, they must be redwoods!”

At the moment, I'm dealing with holiday coma. It's a mixture of having painfully over eaten, the mightiest stress hangover EVER and red-and-green blitzed-out delirium. This is my pathetic way of excusing the lack of posts in the past month, though I've said it all before.

The truth is, I've written at least two drafts of posts that were each triggered in reaction to severe holiday stress, and well, each time it's come to 'publish post', I haven't been able to bring myself to press the orange button for the terror of their sheer hostility. I imagined happy Christmas people dressed in Christmas tree pins and wearing Santa clause hats reading my posts and wishing I was never born.

This is not my favorite time of the year, so instead of scandalizing you with my rants and frustrations, I will simply keep my mouth shut and hope you had a nice holiday.

Maybe once in the safety zone of a new year, when all things cheery are forgotten, I'll publish my posts and we can, in retrospect, realize we all dislike the holidays, in joyous togetherness.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Back "home"?

the cat and I would take our breakfast outside today.

it's funny... how one person can live very different lives, depending on the surroundings. I have two - three, if you count this blog - and maybe more.

gliding into your new/old self again after a brief adjustment period - in those desperate moments when current friends, possessions and cityscapes are missed - can be confusing as hell and feel right simultaneously.

where do I belong? can I miss and hate a place at the same time?

I took a trip home this week--a term split between two cities (well, one is actually more a town than a city). I travel a full day to get to my parent's house, out in the middle of nowhere.

I say "middle of nowhere" in comparative terms. compared to where I live now, compared to my other home-city, because middle of nowhere can accurately and quickly communicate this to you people who live in cities, like me. My family wouldn't think it's middle of nowhere and I never thought so growing up; and I didn't feel that while I was there this week, loving every minute of it.

what does this mean? I have no freaking idea. just something I was thinking about, now that I'm back.

Monday, December 3, 2007

The Dilema: Do I get a manicure?

I really need a manicure.

Budgeting my every cent, glamor is being forced into the back seat of an already cheap ride. My nails look like broken glass, my cuticles are shredded and my hands feel like sand paper. If you only knew the things I've had to do lately, good lord, you would be horrified. Mortified. A woman's nails can tell a lot about her goings-on and mine say I've been slummin'.

A few of you out there, I dare say MEN, may incredulously gasp at my little admittance here. After all, how can a girl without a job can be so concerned with something as trivial as a manicure? When it comes to things like money spent on female beauty - even from your girl with a steady - you'd rather not know how much is spent to put the package together, am I right?

But there are a few things to understand, if you'll allow me to say so. First of all, you love it. You love how pretty a girl looks when everything is neat and tidy and primped. You feel she is not only beautiful but organized and successful. It's nice for you, admit it. But it's not really about you. It's about how it makes us feel. Conviction can be painted on with Shanghai Nights nail polish and matching Channel lipstick. A thrilling nerve can come from taming the unruly hair day by crafting and sculpting every follicle, like an artist with malleable clay, into exactly what we want. Charging into the dark recesses of life... applying for a new job or pitching an idea... you'd be amazed what a supreme manicure can do to even the battlefield. It's more a way of adapting to one's surroundings, like a gecko who must hide from his predator, than an indulgence in many cases, actually, okay? Well, so long as you have the dough.

Moving on to the pressing matter is: what to do now that I don't have the dough. In this state, my argument above wanes into an almost ridiculous perspective, considering the exchange rate for beauty is about a week's worth of lunch. I accepted this tumultuous path of joblessness to develop my freakin' craft and by reminding myself that I am goddamn tough enough to totally handle the lapse of a steady paycheck. These little things I adore - manicures, shoes, lip gloss - are easy to give up. They don't matter.

Do they?

I encounter the philosophical question everyone considers but can't accept or admit. Can money can make me happy?

It can be argued that, although money in itself does not make a person happy, it's what a person uses and sometimes what a person needs to get to their places of HAPPINESS. I no doubt need money to get to my places of happiness: traveling, filming, writing... wearing Wang and Choo.

The existentialist says that money doesn't exist any more than a manicure exists, but that we have made it what it is, and what it's worth. Is the worth of a manicure really what I have made it out to be? The experience of traveling can be worth the "money"... but colored nails?

In other words, my manicure dreams are bullshit.

My attachment is metaphysical, an association, nothing more than a chemical endorphin sent to my puny, needy brain. I can get over it at any point if I chose to and accept it because I can live without the brief, one-week pleasure it provides.

And so I will. For a while, anyways....

Because I don't mean to say that beautification doesn't have it's place in my world. Unless I become a Buddhist monk and brilliantly chose to live entirely outside of society, then the vice of creating an outside shell to help me move through this crazy world is valid. I think so, anyway. Not everyone believes this, of course, but it's who I am, it's in my bones. I have to accept my fate.

Another fate has moved higher up the list for now, that's all.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Monday, November 26, 2007

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Lazy Woman's Thanksgiving: Eating Out

Since I'm not going home for Thanksgiving, and almost never do just to escape HOLIDAY TRAVEL MANIA flying to Seattle and back, I usually crash a friend's family party, or twice, amazingly, I cooked the ridiculous items and portions of food by myself, with friends.

Although I have the time, I refuse to cook this year. And I have no family parties to crash. If you, like me, love to eat but hate to cook large birds or globs of mushy bread, then the Washingtonian has a fabulous link of restaurants open this Thursday that can keep you from starving. Hell, even if you have Thanksgiving dinner somewhere else, you may want to hit these places for the "seconds" phase that usually arrives in the early evening.

Happy F**king Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Dining Guide

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Working the Fashion in D.C.

Listen, I've been asked by a very dear friend to also discuss my prowess for fashion and style, which is shockingly more and more possible in this town thanks to all of the awesome boutiques moving into U St and Georgetown, but a feat which is nevertheless still against the odds for most of us. I'm gonna blame the lack of inspiration that follows seeing your clothing under neon lights in the typical DC workday, rudely suggesting your just gonna look like crap anyway.

I'll start off easy. I'll drop you a note here and there. I'll add a column of links devoted to shops and shopping news. Quiz: Did anyone make it to the Unsung Designers closing fiesta? You're already one step behind....

If we're going to talk about clothing and fashion, it's only responsible that I also discuss a little about fashion morals and ethics. Yes, there are moral requirements you must consider if you are to take my advice and advance to be an independent, confident, hip, young fashionista (that noun works for both men and women).

What do I mean? I am of the school of "fashion as self-expression." Use clothing as a means to create an image, like a painter, of yourself and what your about. Following the trends blindly, buying what's "in," looking like a cut-out from a 1. Ambercrombie, 2. J Crew, 3. US Magaizine with stick-straight hair, tan- and gloss-overload is so BORING.

Buy good quality clothing that fits you well, is what you really want (this makes you confident), and is also AHEAD OF THE CURVE and you will be happy in ways you never dreamed! And why not? If you do this right, there's nothing wrong with spending the money on clothes, it makes sense, it's the first thing you put in front of other people, it's who you are, what you're about. Look at indie-chics and hipsters and women who wear heels. It WORKS.

So I have two recommendations today. First - Tonight is Femme Fete, a holiday shopping event at the Four Season's in Georgetown. It's $30 dollars, but you get free wine a totally non-committal opportunity to hit one spot and see many local designers (local and original designs are very high on the list of desirables for the individual YOU), to get quality samples, to possibly unveil the PERFECT item (on-sale, affordable, EXACTLY what you wanted) for you or your Secret Santa, OR, to give you ideas for the next time you shop at Filene's and put the ensemble together yourself. I recommend this to anyone serious about moving to the next level. You don't have to buy a thing, just OBSERVE AND LEARN, for godssake.

My second recommendation throws you straight into the
advanced level, but it's so attainable, you can handle it. The
clothing line Sustainable Collective has a new holiday collection that, if selected properly and before the holidays begin, may pre-empt the post-holiday regrets of gorging yourself uncontrollably because you already picked out the kick-ass dress for New Year's that you MUST fit into or risk wasting that good money. Plus - and MOST IMPORTANTLY - everything at Sustainable is made from organic fibers, pre and post-consumer recycled materials or from sustainably-grown fibers like hemp and bamboo. Available at Caramel on U Street. Don't care about the environment? At least do it for the conversations to ensue after you declare, "Can you believe this hot dress is made from recycled fish nets?" This will undoubtedly make you fashionable on several levels: the ultimate fashionista.

Now if I can only get a job to be able to buy more clothes....

Monday, November 19, 2007

Dear Diary,

It's been a while, huh? I'm really sorry I haven't written lately. Things have been kind of crazy around here. I promise to write more often. I was being all noble and crap and sticking with my writing compadres at the WGA, but let's face it -- nobody cares if I'm on strike, I'm bored, and they're taking a real long time. I signed they're petition, that's what really matters, right? I really missed you, too.


Friday, November 9, 2007

Average Day - RERUN

Due to the continued strike by the WGA, we now bring you a previously posted post, already in progress....

Average Day - October 25

Some of you wonder what I do in an average day. Well, they are so crazy, days, it's really tough to summarize and treat one like another. Why don't I tell you a bit about today and we'll call it an "average day." Though of course today was completely different from yesterday....

Street art in Dupont

8:30 am
Woke up and put some dishes in the dishwasher.
Picked up a cappuccino.
Rode the bus to a meeting for "work."
Picked out stationary.
Bought fabric for my Halloween costume.
Stopped by the dentist office for an old bill - leftover money day item.
Looked at the movies playing at Dupont and decided, "no."
Browsed through Olsson Books and bought ANOTHER book and ANOTHER movie (Haruki Murakami shorts Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman and Volver.)
Bought a piece of cigar wood with an original charcoal drawing on it, aka street art.
Ate lunch at Kramer books... the squash soup is fantastic.
Read the paper (the Post, actually, if you can believe it.)
Made a couple "work" phone calls.
Strolled Dupont, exclaimed to myself, "I love rainy days!"
Picked up a check at Secondi for consigned clothes, yay!--another leftover money day item.
Walked home, made some tea, uploaded my photo of the day, read through emails.
Made iPod mix, 'Soul Lady' and listened to it for a while.
Replied to some "work" emails, researched two projects, looked through the news of the day.
Flipped through the last Sunday Times magazine.
Had a friend over for beers after work.
Emailed ideas to director of another project.
Sent out house party email.
Watched The Office.
Worked on Halloween costume.
Had some ginger tea.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

The Office is Closed

The writers from "The Office" are among the renegades on strike with the Writers Guild, and in case you want to get all pissy about reruns, you should check out this video to learn how messed up the whole thing is. I mean, don't get me started on NBC right now, I'm still mad hot about them taking "The Office" off iTunes and making me suffer through the same two commercials replayed 5 times. Retards. Sign the petition and do something with your life.

While you're at it, watch this one too.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Travel Diary: DC Errands

Today's schedule is packed with errands around and out of town (Arlington)-- at least 6 to speak of at last count-- so why not share it with you in photos. I hope to incorporate at least 4 modes of transportation, weather permitting, although I loathe the idea of taking the metro to Clarendon....
(Note: This was much longer than I expected...)

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

5:28 pm. Damn, I took too long...

4:27 pm ....But I couldn't POSSIBLY leave Arlington without a stop at Murky! I'll just have to hurry--only one, a classic cappuccino even though they only serve them in-house. I'll be quick...

4:13 pm. Wilson Blvd, Arlington. Okay, got the tapes, done, time to head back.

4:05 pm. New Hampshire Ave in car, wondering if I'm gonna get stuck in some snarly rush-hour traffic on the way back from Arlington. Man, I hate driving. (P.S. Forgot I can't haul 3 boxes home on the metro.)

3:42 pm. 16th St. Just left Pollo Sabroso and heading home to pick up the car and head to Arlington before rush hour. When did it get so goddamn cold?

2:01 pm. Me and bike on the S2 bus.

1:57 pm. Taking the bus to Mt. P (I hate riding up hill.) I don't do the bus/bike combo often, but riding home will be cake.

1:10 pm. 18th and Kalorama. Nice day... never expected that one. Bag is now securely in back-pack mode and rain coat sure does look good, even if it's useless after all.

1:05 pm. Phew! I really needed to burn off the morning's caffine. Thanks again, gym! Flat tire scare averted after 5 minutes pumping what seemed to be a faulty travel pump. My imagination ran away with me as I swore the homeless guy against the wall stared at me the entire time....

11:52 am. Still on the way tot he gym. See how big my bag is? I hope my long rain coat doesn't get caught in the back wheel...

11:49 am. Leaving home. Heading out on the bike to the gym first. I have a really heavy bag stuffed for the afternoon that's going to be murder on any big bumps.

10:35 am. Puddle remains at T St NW. Dropped off the car and heading home for a bit for emails and siesta (though I seriously doubt I'll get the siesta.) Well hello there, sun, glad you could join us today!

10:23 am. Ontario & Euclid. Driving home from Tryst after a morning cappuccino. Their espresso machine was broken when I walked in but luckily straightened itself out in time to avoid cranky girl.

7:58 am. Driving up 13th St. NW. Round two of trip, after returning home to pick up the keys I forgot the first time around.

7:35 AM. Heading to Mount P. A very wet morning.

Monday, November 5, 2007

The S2 at 11:30 am

Sunday, November 4, 2007

DolceZZa at Dupont Market

The Dolcezzito's are now at Dupont Market, you must go and try the yummy flavors of artisanal gelato and sorbetto, we had a half pint of RICOTTA HONEY at 11am and it was the best idea any one of us have ever had. We discussed how the flavors are so fresh and intense, not overpowering, but somehow infused into every frozen molecule. Rob is a gelato genius!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

A belated day of the dead party made for a crazy Saturday night and a Sunday devoted to curing the Mexican-beer-and-tequila hangover.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Morning Rituals, Daily Accomplishments

Mornings used to be a real nightmare. The insomnia-induced television marathons until 3 am the first two weeks didn't help, then there's all the crap around the house to keep you busy and in pj's all day long. Add movies or playing with the cat--or the best, seeping until 3pm-- and you'll be destined to fail at joblessness.

A friend on vacation for a week asked, "How do you do anything worthwhile all day when you're at home, where it's so easy to do nothing?"

Well, although my genius is too early to reveal, I'll give you a little something to get you by for now. Here's how I get things done at home, in semi-particular order. See what it can do for you:

1.Get out of the house ASAP. I leave for coffee before I even take a shower to see that life does still exist out there. It's so easy and fun, even if you're half asleep. Do this until necessary.

2.If you've got the stuff, go to the gyms/run/be active in the morning. You can scoff at all the suckers going to work and get a good high first thing in the am for hours of productivity.

3.Have at least one exciting thing to look forward to that wakes you up in the morning. Today, it's the High Heel Drag Race on 17th St, which got me out of bed early so that I could get all my crap done before 6pm to make it to the Fox & Hound for prime seats. Yeah!

4.Have at least one project stress you out so much that it wakes you up in the morning. This is usually an involuntary perk, but it sure as hell works.

5.Calendars and check-lists rule! I have several Google calendars, I use iGoogle ToDo lists and have several widgets stickies on my dashboard. These lists occasionally clear by the end of the day... very satisfying.

6.Pick the most fun and constructive of the list of things you imagined doing even if they may never amount to anything, to keep yourself happy and maybe even support the right path to whatever. Some on my list: Blogging, volunteer in my dream job, painting, more photography, and order the piece missing on my sewing machine. And a few others, big and small. Prioritizing these.

7. Set up meetings. Make them for coffee with a friend in the morning, anything, just commit to being somewhere outside your place at a certain time and keep it. Talk to people, too--don't be a hermit.

8.Nothing improves the spirits like a midday siesta. Nap, walk, eat, (shop) or do a completely selfish and jealousy-generating activity at least once a day. Otherwise, why the hell are you doing this?

Unfinished Business

Maybe it's the three coffee's I had today talking, but I feel like total crap, like I can't get anything done lately. Exhibit A above: The table I was stripping last week until it rained for 40 days. I'm guessing my foul mood has something to do with going into work today, combined with the paradox of a fast approaching state of being broke. When it takes at least two weeks for the work your doing to equate to cash, or of course months or NEVER as with many of my projects, today can seem like a total beast. If I were feeling at all like being positive, I guess I would say I just have to wait out the couple of weeks until I'll be sitting pretty again with a little wad in my pocket and the adventurous twinkle back in my eye. Yeah, well... it sure as hell better be that way.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Hiking in Pennsylvania, Talking Movies, Being Broke

I haven't been out on a hike since The Slog, and although I was feeling a bit hung over from 10 hours of tailgating and some other aches I won't bother to mention here, I am so glad I didn't wimp out and take a nap instead.

Nature, especially on the rare perfect fall day, is so charging. It's kind of like a dip in a cold river, or maybe similar to a cat who's been dumped in a bath--That "I'm awake, okay!" feeling down to the bones. Good days don't like to be ignored.

Anyway, it was a good walk. I also had a chat about "freelancing" with a new friend and the ways to keep from feeling like a complete loser without work or money. She like several others I know also had a great freelance setup after a slow start; but she now has to start over again in a new state. If someone can do this twice, I might have the slightest chance of making it, kids!

Did you know you could send more than one movie back to Netflix at a time in the same envelope??

Penn State Football

I spent the weekend in Pennsylvania, not in D.C., but I'll tell you about it anyway in case you care.

Pictured is my first ever semi-professional football game, at Penn State against Ohio State. I cheered for PSU with my posse: a riot-y crown of alumni. Sorry they lost, guys. Tailgaiting began at 2pm and ended at 12:30am. Check out the crowd.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Coffee Cupping Morning in Adams Morgan

MMMmmm, A perfect day for a coffee tasting! Every Friday morning at 10 am, the new Counter Culture training center in Adams Morgan generously opens up to the public for a lesson in coffee tasting, aka "cupping." This is a complete win-win situation: You finally know what they hell your drinking and they get a little public survey of the coffee they're roasting. What's that aroma you get? Somewhere in the realm of chocolaty, blueberry-y and green peppery? Awesome, we'll write that down.

The session is soul-searching and I'll even say mandatory for anyone who considers themself a coffee drinker. I, in particular, had never paid so much attention to El Salvadorian coffee or the natural roasting processes in Ethiopia. And it was so easy: just taste, write down your notes, repeat taste, talk as a group. Everyone has something to learn here and it is quite a high, caffeine excluded in that exclamation.

Plus, if you don't already know, Counter Culture is top of the line for environmentally and socially responsible artisan coffee. They pay serious attention to the bean, the roasting, the brewing.... translation: Very good coffee. It's like wine tasting in Sonoma.

Although I strolled in half-awake at about 10:20, I recommend you get there at 10am sharp and maybe even call or send Ryan Jensen, the D.C. center customer relations contact, an email ahead of time, especially if you want to come with a group. 202-903-4802,

The training center is at 1836 Columbia Rd NW, next to the big new interior design place with the yellow store front. Go to the undisclosed door on the right and dial them up on the call box.

See you there next week!

Average Day

Some of you wonder what I do in an average day. Well, they are so crazy, days, it's really tough to summarize and treat one like another. Why don't I tell you a bit about today and we'll call it an "average day." Though of course today was completely different from yesterday....

Street art in Dupont

8:30 am
Woke up and put some dishes in the dishwasher.
Picked up a cappuccino.
Rode the bus to a meeting for "work."
Picked out stationary.
Bought fabric for my Halloween costume.
Stopped by the dentist office for an old bill - leftover money day item.
Looked at the movies playing at Dupont and decided, "no."
Browsed through Olsson Books and bought ANOTHER book and ANOTHER movie (Haruki Murakami shorts Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman and Volver.)
Bought a piece of cigar wood with an original charcoal drawing on it, aka street art.
Ate lunch at Kramer books... the squash soup is fantastic.
Read the paper (the Post, actually, if you can believe it.)
Made a couple "work" phone calls.
Strolled Dupont, exclaimed to myself, "I love rainy days!"
Picked up a check at Secondi for consigned clothes, yay!--another leftover money day item.
Walked home, made some tea, uploaded my photo of the day, read through emails.
Made iPod mix, 'Soul Lady' and listened to it for a while.
Replied to some "work" emails, researched two projects, looked through the news of the day.
Flipped through the last Sunday Times magazine.
Had a friend over for beers after work.
Emailed ideas to director of another project.
Sent out house party email.
Watched The Office.
Worked on Halloween costume.
Had some ginger tea.

That's it! On to tomorrow....

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Dupont Rain

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I have to apologize for the endless page design changes. Sorry.

Money Day

Today is my self declared Money Day. Money Day is the day Jobless looks into any money she may have hanging out there, unclaimed, as well as any money that could be had by her rightfully. A sell on Ebay? Get rid of some extra blood? The options will likely be creative and unexpected, but no doubt limited.

Also to come: Q&A Session #2 - Josh Brolin: The Dish on the Coens....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Thank God for the Gym

I seriously worry about the day when I can't work out at the gym anymore, foreseeing a possibly dire financial outcome to this fairy tale. The Gym is like my coffee in the morning, like my bath at night. Creativity would seize to exist because when the body is tired, the mind it tired. Although I used to be a hater, wondering how people could exercise in place like a rat on a wheel, I have since shut it. Because here's the thing: Have you ever heard that the best way to get out of a writing block is to write until the hand moves almost involuntarily, to the point where the mechanics of writing give way to free and pure thought? On the elliptical one time, I came up with the most surreal short film idea about a woman running on a tredmill with her eyes closed, and she was able to almost transport herself into all of her fantasies, they felt so real. Oxygen is so devilish.

The best time of day to work out, I've discovered, is 11 am, when the place is nearly deserted and you have the whole locker room to yourself.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Capital Hill Sunset

Sad to see this day go.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Q&A Sessions: The Schwartz

As promised.

In this segment, Schwartzman talks about brotherly love, between the nefarious Whitmans of Darjeeling but mostly about his brothers in real life. Hear what they thought of the movie....

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Schwartz: A Pretty Cool Guy

Jobless and posse sit two rows from J Schwartzman during Q&A of Darjeeling in GTown

Jason Schwartzman at the Georgetown screening of Darjeeling Limited couldn't gush enough about his new movie, Wes Anderson, and India. He was so cute about it, we ate it up. After a roughly 45 minute talk about everything from his one-man band to his short film Hotel Chevalier, I and my compatriots had to admit, he was pretty damn funny and cool. And totally adorable in person (personal admission).

Schwartzman said he and Wes Anderson began the idea for Darjeeling during dog walks in Paris, his then home during the shooting of Marie Antoinette. Anderson had just finished the press tour for Life Aquatic in Paris and the two shacked up for a time. After a bit, Roman Coppola joined the suaree, they took a trip to India, started writing about 3 brothers who take a long trip and find themselves, and began adding character anecdotes from experiences in their own lives. When asked by the audience, "Which of you checks his ex-girlfriends phone messages?" Schwartzman quickly replied, "Uh, Roman."

Among the tib-bits disclosed to the attentive DC audience: Schwartzman has a CD out under his own label, Coconut Records, and each CD purchased comes with an original piece of artwork... a Polaroid either of him or taken by him; Schwartz says he's a one man band because no one else will play with him; Before Rushmore, pup Schwartz had almost no acting experience whatsoever, but he had written and directed several short films in his youth, one about a cop and a crack addict; Of his preference between alter egos Max Fisher and Jack Whitman, Schwartzman replied kindly with several similarities to each and concluded that he was "his own man"; Short film Hotel Chavalier, co-starring Natalie Portman, may soon screen in theatres before Darjeeling, and is a recommended prelude to the feature; Schwartz said this was his favorite Q&A. That's sweet.

He was then asked by a particularly enterprising young Georgetown student to join her in the GT cafeteria after the screening for a little Coolio concert. He quickly spout out other (and cooler) DC happenings, like British Sea Power at the Black Cat and The Shins to come on the 22nd. Not too bad, J, not too bad.

See Schwartzman talk about his real-life sibling experience (he has 3 brothers and 1 sister) on the VIDEO to post here tomorrow!

Dowload Hotel Chavalier for Free on iTunes
Visit Coconut Records -

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Truth about Being Jobless

I know being jobless may seem like fun and games but, really, it’s not. It takes hard work and dedication and must absorb one’s every waking moment and many sleepless ones as well. To be a true vagabond and tell the man to kiss it, and to live “fully”—whatever you hope that to be—without lame bosses and office coma… one must make money. What’s that? Make money to stay jobless? Like I said, it’s not easy. It’s complicated.

Let me get very real with you. The first few days of freedom, roaming the untroubled streets at noon, no deadline, no stabbing neck pain you swear the crazy boss has cursed you with, you’ll feel empowered and intelligent and sophisticated. Fearlessness is in the sun-filled air, and you are a tiger, no, a lion in Africa, king of the jungle and ruler of your goddamn territory and your own goddamn time for once!

You feel good. You want to look good. And you have some time on your hands and don’t really know what else to do since you don’t want to start looking for jobs already and ruin this beautiful moment. So maybe you shop. I shopped.

Looking back, I’m shocked with myself for spending like I did—though I love the green wool dress, the long black overcoat with super cute short sleeves, the “power” black bag I need for my next “power” lunch. I’ll be honest with you. I felt a little out of control and it is sooo soothing to shop, you know? I shopped to feel better, and to fill the void that money and security were leaving behind. I shopped because I was running out of money--I know... it’s totally twisted. I have dreams about shopping when I’m stressed, did you know that? I know psychologists will throw out some bullshit about filling voids and the dangers. Forget all that crap and just don’t buy things like I did. And avoid craigslist AT ALL COSTS when you have time and a new apartment. That junk will turn you into a zombie.

Although I joke about never working again, the truth is that I want not one job, but job-SSS. What do I mean? I’m what people in my profession call “freelance.” I work to make money for a couple of weeks, with new people on new projects, maybe learn something new and get a little perspective. I have more control over the terms and of my time. I’m self-employed. (Which is to say I’m jobless most days.)

Since I'm doing these little jobs instead of one big one, I’m finding myself ridiculously busy and still fucking broke. But that's suppose to change. This is what I mean when I’m talking about the complicated part of it.

Everyone has their own path, and some jobless folks are really just looking for the next full-time, everyday job that they’ll be in for the next century or whatever. Part of me wants to say, “That’s easy!” Full-time jobs are everywhere and you just have to get ONE and you’re set for ages without having to go through the resume and interview crap again. But that’s not fair, and probably not true. It’s hard finding the job you really want to stay at for a century, getting the twisted boss not to hate you and actually hire you, and that takes work.

All that said, here’s why I chose this route: To work at cafĂ©’s with good coffee, to take walks during the day because it helps clear the mind, to be more creative, to be more challenged and to keep from having a stress stroke at the age of 30. Most of all, to start doing NOW what I want to do, and know I can do, rather than follow an ancient system in cozy snail pace that might let me do something real in 5 years.

So I’m very busy. Looking for jobs is much more work than having one, I think. In case you want to do the same, I’ll tell you all about it.

Oh Dalai

This is why I had no camera yesterday... It was reserved for the Dalai Lama. One among us met his holiness. Can you guess who it is?

A funny article from the post yesterday:

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Kickin It

I can't say this is today, but it's an often reoccurring moment, so let's just say it was.

I didn't have a camera today because of the Dalai Lama. You'll see what I mean tomorrow...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I need a new look

I forgot how my style got totally boring when I moved to DC and started working in a grown-up job. I kicked the blond and red streaks and started getting real haircuts to impress my grown-up friends. I don't plan to revert to the street kid look or anything, but I need to feel more me. It'll take some time to "find myself" and probably involve a lot of erratic impulses like the one above.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Everyone needs a break.

Break time at the good 'ol muddhouse, a favorite little place for green tea. When I had a job, you could usually see me here, with one of several acquaintances or associates. It is the perfect place to vent about all the crap your lousy boss dishes. Over the years, sitting at one of the outdoor aluminum tables, almost always inhaling cigarette smoke in some form without a sliver of sunlight on this shady side of the street, the scenario has bordered on depressing. But somehow it never could be--this break to me and many out there is an important ray of hope in a shitty day. Even if I don't work anymore and I can sit in the sun anywhere I want, I love to visit the old girl and remember.